Got this email from a friend, thought it was worth putting up here. Hope you all enjoyed there holiday.
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have
stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids,
but the whole of this latest election process has made me
realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other
for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly,
this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will
not, ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end
it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to
irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the
difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a
friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other
assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate
tastes.
--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the
cops, the NRA and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines,
and you can go with wind, solar and bio-diesel.
--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell.
You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle
big enough to move all three of them.
--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food
stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal
aliens.
--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's
and rednecks.
--We'll keep Bill O'Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and
Hollywood.
--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain
the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our
allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide
them security.
--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political
correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.,
but we will no longer be paying the bill.
--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any
practicing doctors.
--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not
a right.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and
"The National Anthem."
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine",
"I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya"
or "We Are the World."
--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can
continue to give trickle-up poverty your best shot.
--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history,
our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like-minded liberal and conservative patriots. If you do not agree,
just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, you might want to think
about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen,
Barbara Streisand, & "Hanoi" Jane Fonda with you.
P.P.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
"If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without
bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory is sure and
not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will
have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious
chance of survival.
"There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when
there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to
live as slaves."
-Sir Winston Churchill
(1874-1965)
No comments:
Post a Comment