Saturday 08-06-11

Two attempts at humor today

"5000 Years Ago, Moses Said To Israel, "Pick Up Your Shovels,Mount Your Asses And Camels, And I Will Lead You To The Promised Land." When Welfare Was Introduced, Roosevelt Said, "Lay Down Your Shovels, Sit On Your Asses, And Light Up A Camel, This Is The Promised Land." Today The Government Has Stolen Your Shovel, Taxed Your Asses, Raised The Price Of Camels And Mortgaged The Promised Land To China."

got this from
http://www.survivalandpreparednessforum.com/showthread.php?2517-I-thought-this-was-amusing



*THE DEAD COW LECTURE*

First-year students at the University of Missouri Vet School were
attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white
sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine
it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is
that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body." For an
example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt
of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and
do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually
took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second
most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and
sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough but
it's even tougher if you're dim or slow."

This one came from an email to me